ديسمبر 19, 2016

لماذا يكون طفلكم صعب الإرضاء معكم بينما لا يكون كذلك مع الآخرين




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“معي يكون هادئًا جدًا! لا أسمع له صوتًا.”
“أنمتُه من دون أي مشكلة!”
“أكل من دون صعوبة. ليس صعب الإرضاء إلّا معكِ”.
من لم تسمع هذه الجمل المزعجة (أو أيٍّ من مشتقاتها) من فم أمها أو حماتها أو مربّية أولادها فلترفع يدها…رائع أنتِ محظوظة!
الحالة: ابنكِ يعذّبكِ (مثلًا تستغرقين 50 دقيقة لتنوّميه وأنتِ تهزّين سريره لكي يأخذ قيلولة صغيرة لا تدوم أكثر من 20 دقيقة ويستيقظ 4 مرّات في الليل وهو يصرخ حتى انكسر ظهركِ وعندما تستيقظين في الصباح لا تعرفين ما إذا كنتِ في اليوم السابق أم التالي). أنت مرهقة فيقترح عليك أحد أن تستريحي (مثلًا الذهاب إلى التسوّق في السوبرماركت من دون ابنكِ، يا للسعادة! – حسنًا هذا نوع مقرف من الاستراحة…الذهاب إلى التسوّق بعد الظهر مع صديقاتكِ، يا للسعادة!).


تشعرين بالذنب وتقلقين كثيرًا (على الرغم من أن هذا الشخص قد نجح في تنويمه) وعندما تهرعين لاستعادة ابنكِ بسرعة مع الأكياس المليئة بثمانية كيلوغرامات من ملابس الأطفال ووشاحك يطير في الهواء يقول لكِ هذا الشخص ( سواء كان أمكِ أم أبوكِ أم حماتكِ أم صديقتكِ) إن كلّ شيء مرّ بشكل ممتاز معهم وإن الولد طلب الخلود إلى النوم وغفا بمفرده من دون تكسير ظهر أحد ونام لثلاث ساعات متواصلة.

استنتاج منطقي: أنتِ تخافين كونكِ أمًّا.
بشكل عام تتلو المربّية الرواية اليومية الخاصّة بأولادكم ليوم تتخلّله بعض التعليقات من نوع: “هذا لا يُعقَل فما إن تصلي حتى يصبح لا يُطاق!”، “لأنه يعرف أن معي لن ينجح الأمر…”، “أنا لا أتنازل وهي تفهم على الفور”، “يشعر أنني مسترخية” أو أي جملة من هذا النحو “معي كل شيء يمشي لوحده راقبي وتعلّمي”.

لا شيء يماثل هذا من أجل زيادة ثقتكِ بنفسكِ كأمٍّ ! تعودين من استراحة بعض الظهر مفلسة ( 8 كغ من ملابس الأولاد التي لا تشملها التخفيضات) ومرهقة (بعد عبور 10 كيلومترات في ممرّات المركز التجاري – في المرّة القادمة من الأفضل أن تأخذي قيلولة، يا مسكينة!) ومقتنعة بأنكِ أفشل مما تعتقدين.
انتظروا غداً من آي فراشة : لهذا يتحسن سلوك الأولاد في غياب أمهم… سيعجب هذا كل الأمهات !

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