عدم وضع الحدود للأولاد : هل هو أكبر خطأ يرتكبه الأهل ؟

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أغلب الأهل يحاولون أن يعطوا أفضل ما يستطيعون في تربية أولادهم. لكن غالباً ما لا تكفي النوايا الحسنة. في العديد من الحالات، يتصرف الأهل حسب ممارسات ورثوها من الماضي، وبدل أن يفعلوا خيراً لولدهم، يؤذون تقديره لنفسه ويتسببون له أحياناً بجراح عاطفية تبقى وقتاً طويلاً. في بعض الحالات، تأتي المشكلة من النماذج التربوية التي يستقيها الأهل من أهلهم، وفي حالات أخرى، تأتي من عكس ما عرفوه في الماضي.
أحد أكبر الأخطاء التي يرتكبها الأهل هي أنهم غالباً ما لا يضعون حدوداً. بعض الأهل يخلطون بين الحرية وترك الولد يفعل ما يريد. لكن الأولاد الذين يكبرون بدون حدود أو قواعد يمكن أن يصبح سلوكهم صعباً، وهم ليسوا سعداء إجمالاً. لديهم ردة فعل قوية تجاه الإحباط ولا يتقبلون أن نقول لهم لا.

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عندما يكون الأولاد صغاراً يحاولون أن يكتشفوا العالم، تساعد الحدود على جعلهم يشعرون بالأمان.
علاوة على هذا، تمنح القواعد نظاماً لعالمهم، إنهم يعرفون عندها ما الذي ننتظره منهم ويتصرفون على أساسه. بالتأكيد، لا يستلزم الأمر تحويل المنزل إلى ثكنة عسكرية، مع نظام قاسٍ، لكن أن يكون هناك “أشياء يجب عدم القيام بها”. كل الاختصاصيين الاجتماعيين والتربويين يعرفون كيف يصبح غياب الحدود جحيماً بالنسبة للأهل إذا سيطر عليهم الولد بالقواعد التي وضعها هو. يمكن أن يصبح في هذه الحالة متلاعباً كبيراً ليبلغ أهدافه، وإذا لم يكن هناك قواعد سيجد نفسه في مواجهة فراغ مقلق جداً. الحدود والقواعد تحمي الحياة العائلية والتطور النفسي السليم للأولاد.

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