الاعتداءات الجنسية : الصعوبات التي تواجهها الضحية

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عندما يكبر ضحايا الاعتداءات الجنسية، تتمحور الصعوبات التي يواجهونها حول عدة نقاط :
• علاقة الحب تصبح مخاطرة
• الرغبة غير ممكن الوصول إليها
• المتعة مستحيلة
• الجسم غير ممكن اكتشافه

علاقة الحب : مخاطرة
الشخص الذي تعرض للاغتصاب أو الاعتداء الجنسي، يعيش عموماً حالات خلل مهمة في حياته الجنسية والعاطفية. تصبح المتعة والرغبة الجنسية بالنسبة له هي فقط متعة ورغبة الآخر. وتصبح علاقة الحب مخاطرة.

مخاطرة الرفض
الخطر الأول هو رفض علاقة الحب والبقاء منغلقاً بلا كلل في العزلة والوحدة. رفض العلاقة هو تكرار للنظام الذي انغلق فيه الشخص على نفسه.
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خطر التنازل
الخطر الثاني هو التنازل ومرة أخرى أن يمارس العلاقة بدون رغبة، فقط من أجل متعة الآخر أو من أجل الواجبات الزوجية، “لأنه من وقت لآخر يجب أن يفعل هذا”.

اضطرابات الرغبة
الرغبة غير الممكنة
لكي نرغب، يجب أن نستطيع أن نحب، وأن نظهر هذا الحب. لكن كيف نرغب في الآخر عندما نكون منغلقين في جسم لا يوحي لنا إلا بالعار والاشمئزاز منذ أن أصبح قذراً. ينعكس تقدير الذات وصورة الجسم بطريقة سلبية. يصبح الجسم سجناً يجب طرحه أمام نظرة ورغبة الآخر.

الرغبة يحل محلها العار، الشعور بالذنب والخوف
الانفعالات التي تعيشها الضحية منذ الصدمة تميل إلى التغلغل والترسخ في شخصية الشخص : خوف، عار، الشعور بالذنب لإحساسه بأنه مختلف، لحمله هذا العبء، حتى لتحريضه رغبة الآخر والتسبب باغتصابه.

الرغبة تحل محلها الكآبة
الكآبة هي المصدر الأكثر شيوعاً للصدمة الجنسية. إنها تسمح بتجنب المواقف الخطرة وتسبب خدراً حسياً يحمي الشخص بشكل عام.

الرغبة تصبح مستحيلة بسبب هويته المعيبة
كلما حدثت الصدمة أبكر في حياة الشخص، وهذه هي حالة زنى المحارم، كلما كان بناء هوية الشخص أصعب. عيوب الهوية يمكن أن تكون مهمة على مدى حياة الشخص؛ وهي تجعل الرغبة والتعبير عنها أمراً مستحيلاً.

اضطرابات الرغبة
الرغبة المستحيلة
تصبح الرغبة مستحيلة في غياب الاستسلام الداخلي في العلاقة، في غياب الثقة بهذا الجسم الذي نرفضه، الذي نخفيه عن الآخر وعن نفسنا.

العوارض الجسدية
هذه التعابير الجسدية دورها هو أن تضع علامة في الجسم تجعل مستحيلاً عليه الإحساس باللذة.
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العدوانية
المتعة يحل محلها العدوانية، العدوانية تجاه النفس التي تضاعف المشاكل والاضطرابات : السلوك الغذائي، الإدمان المتعدد، تعريض النفس للخطر. الدعارة، أعراض متعددة. كما يمكن أن تتوجه العدوانية نحو الآخر، وتعبر عن نفسها بتشنج مهبلي أو عسر الجماع وتمنع هكذا كل علاقة جنسية. أخيراً يمكن أن تتوجه نحو الآخرين بطريقة إجمالية : سلوك معادي للمجتمع، تجاوز الحدود.

الألم
عندما تأتي اللذة، تجلب معها الشعور بالذنب وتتحول إلى ألم، وهي يمكن أن تصبح معاناة نفسية أو تظهر تحت شكل عسر جماع أو التهابات متعددة في الجهاز التناسلي.
انتظروا المقالة القادمة من آي فراشة : كيف نشفي الصدمات الجنسية ؟

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